By Katy

Sorry I haven’t been very consistent in writing.  I am writing to you from the road.  I’m traveling for a show I am working on, and I’m thinking about all of you.  I hope you’re well, Recession Mamas and fans of RM!

I would like to report some economic news, but I am way out of the loop on that one.  I haven’t picked up a newspaper or watched TV in a long while.  I can only talk about what I’ve been thinking about lately, and that is…working parents.

I have several co-workers who are working parents, and I wonder about whether they’ve struggled with this decision.  Some of them have very young children.  I am sure that most of you know moms who work these days, and you probably even know a few dads who stay at home with the kid.  But my feeling is…it’s definitely more prevalent in this economy.

Now, I used to have just one friend who is a stay-at-home dad.  He’s done it for years.  Way before it was chic.  His wife seems fine with it, and she’s actually happy to be the breadwinner in the family.  He sometimes takes an odd job or two, but most days, he’s home with their two children.  And recently, I’ve seen more and more of my friends who have made the choice to stay home and take care of the kids because they’ve recently lost their jobs.

So how does it feel to reverse the roles?  Do you fight more or less about money now that the woman makes more?  Do you have power struggles when before you were more or less equals?  Does it make the relationship easier or harder?  These are the things I would like to know… I am getting married, and I’m really wondering if my relationship will be OK with such a shift?

by Heather

Please excuse me if I make this brief. I’m still a little woozy after doing math homework while “goofy” on the cold medication.  Yes. I’m sick! I have the same crud that everyone else has or has had. Just last week I bragged about how I had avoided it and then Karma came back to get me.

I felt a little sick over the weekend after going to the Great State Fair of Texas and the UT/OU Red River Rivalry game. I’m not saying they pushed this bug into overdrive, I’m just saying they probably didn’t help.

The Great State Fair of Texas is a cornucopia of people, amusement rides, stockyard animals and fried food of every invention. You haven’t lived until you’ve had a Fletcher’s Corny Dog smothered in mustard! Personally, I can live without ever trying the fried butter, chicken fried bacon and the dozens of other heat attack producing, artery clogging, IBS triggering foods that come out of the Fair. But I do enjoy the corn dog just once a year. The kids like the giant fluffs of cotton candy.

Enjoying some cotton candy

The fair is expensive. They force you to buy everything with coupons. So you don’t realize that a corn dog is way-too- high or that a spin on the Texas Star is over-the-moon. You just know it’s 6 coupons for the fried food on a stick and 7 to 10 coupons for a ride. You just don’t realize you’re getting ripped off because your senses have been slowed by the grease, swarms of people and the dizzying array of lights. Besides it’s a tradition. So much so, they give school kids a free ticket and a day off to enjoy the big fair. (By the way… the fair raked in $25.7 million dollars on food and rides this year.)

http://www.bigtex.com/  (click here to check out the fair)

Now I’m not completely germ-a-phobic, but I don’t think the trip to the fair coupled with a day of screaming at one of the biggest college football rivalry games did me any favors. I lost my voice and now it feels like someone very large is sitting on my chest. Boo hoo… life must go on.

Thankfully, I have a wonderful family who basically let me checkout for the day on Sunday. I stayed in bed, wiped my nose, coughed and convalesced.

Sure my husband made eggs out of the stir fry pan, left the sink full of dishes, and let the kids scatter toys all over the place.  I didn’t have to look at it, so I didn’t care. Honestly he really didn’t have time to take care of that junk because he was busy taking the kids to the park and lunch. My hero

The very thoughtful family brought me a bowl of soup back from lunch. I was hoping for broth, but they served up cream of broccoli and a big piece of tiramisu (not the most sick friendly food, but still appreciated) My very concerned children patted me on the head, wrote me notes, and gave me a stuffed Labrador puppy to help me feel better. They told me they loved me without any prompting. It was so sweet I damn near cried.

My wonderful friend, Ashley, cleaned up the kitchen and ran the kids to birthday parties while my husband was working.

Sure I felt (and still do) like hell. But I think I’m the most blessed person on earth. My dear sweet husband took great care of me and the kids. My friend stepped in to help. And my kids gave me some really adorable Hallmark worthy moments.

 Hacking and coughing aside… It was even better than chowing down on a Fletcher’s Corny dog smothered in mustard. Besides it didn’t cost a coupon or give me heartburn.

(In case you were curious… that cream of broccoli soup was actually good!)

-H

My neighbor Katy thinks that writing this blog about my finances may be cathartic for me.  Actually, it scares the shit outta me:  the idea of admitting publicly that I’ve failed.

To honor my obligations, that I’ve let myself and my family down and people that depend on me.  Maybe that’s a bit too grandiose of a statement, I mean, after all, who really cares?  Truth is I made bad financial decisions and let my debt spiral out of control.  It didn’t help any that I was getting a lot of bad advice and aggressive assistance form a financial system and culture that wanted to profit from my ignorance.

My finances are a mess.  I’ve got $39,000 in credit card debt, another 35,000 in a HELOC on my first house, which is upside down by the way (I still have a 1^st mortgage for 202,000 on a home that is currently appraised at 123,000), my second home is teetering on foreclosure, but there are two offers that the bank is reviewing on a short sale and I owe about 2,800 in back HOA fees…and how the hell did I get here?  You don’t even have to ask.  I agonize over it DAILY!

The past year and a half I lost more that half of my income.  I make my living as an actor and I moved back to LA just in time for the writers strike, then SAG threatened their own…yeah for me!  What timing, huh?   I was also renting out my first house and that would have helped me weather the economic storm, but my tenant got into a fight with his girlfriend in my house and she shot him.  He (unfortunately) lived and he didn’t tell me for over a month when he was late with the rent.  By the time I found out he had left my home a mess- $3,000 worth of back rent and damages (thank the Lord for insurance and my brother who helped out, or it could have been much worse)… so I ended up carrying 2 mortgages for almost six months.  Went through all my savings and my 401K.  Then a creative project that I wrote was being produced and was hijacked from me, which meant lawyers and fees to protect my rights and royalties on the show.

OK, so, that’s enough of my back sob story.  I mean, the drama and the rotten luck, enough already!

I filed for bankruptcy a couple of months ago, but there’s still a part of me that thinks at the 11^th hour I’ll land some fabulous job and that all my money woes will be over.  I mean it happens all the time, people’s lives changing on a dime in this city, right?  God, I sound like a gambler.  That fantasy has kept me going these past 22 years as an actress, “Someday I’ll get my big break:  that TV show or that Broadway show…”It’s embarrassing to admit that I still hold out hope.  My boyfriend told me a great statement the other night that someone made about the acting profession which goes something like “It’s not the despair that’s killing me, it’s the hope!”

Actually, I’ve made a good living as an actress in Los Angeles and in regional theater over the years so I consider myself damned lucky, so I know I have to give myself permission to feel good about that.  It’s not been completely a fool’s dream.

I bought the houses for an investment, because I am in this profession and I wanted to begin to build some kind of financial stability for my future.  Working freelance, which acting pretty much is, is just so nerve-wracking for me.  My brother talked me into buying my first place.  “You’re not gonna make the same mistake that you did in the 90’s are you?”,  he asked when I booked this really good production show.  He sells real estate and was trying to get me to buy a house in San Diego in the early 90’s but I thought, “$150,000 for a 3 bedroom house?  That’s too much!”  If only… So, I went for it.

I learned a lot during that time.  I was curious about money, because I never got a financial education in school or from my parents.  I didn’t know that just because you balanced your checkbook it didn’t mean you were managing your finances.  I was quickly, but not quickly enough discovering how little financial literacy I had.

Credit scores was an interesting discovery for me.  I found out mine was pretty good at the time- around 749.  When I was buying my first house I wanted to pay off all of my credit card debt and close my cards, but was told not to do that because it would ruin my score and I wouldn’t qualify for a good rate.  I was told to keep the balance at around 30% of the balance. It didn’t make sense to me, but I was following this “expert” advice.

I also discovered that when you buy a house, everybody wants to give you money!  The credit card companies bombarded me with offers.  And, oh remember those little “convenience checks” they would send you in the mail?  With those comforting little sayings “pay now, worry later”?  And then finding out about those obscene interest rates.

And of course with my new house I had to have furniture!  All I have to say is God save me from HGTV.  It is like porn for me.

Interest rates are Satan!  How the hell can anyone charge you a 24%to 29% interest rate?

Well, I qualified at the time for 3.99 to 5% rates, so I rolled over my debts into low interest cards.  So fast forward to a couple of months ago, I was one day late on a credit card payment and they hiked up my rate to 29.99%!!  WTF?!  So I called and they said I had violated the terms of the contract.  I spoke to a manager and she said that she couldn’t change the terms of the agreement and that I hadn’t opted out.  “Opt out? What was that?”  “Oh, it was mailed out in one of your previous statements”  “What the junk mail that you pack my statements with?  Besides, I pay online.”  “Well, we can close your account and give you a 17% interest rate.”  “But, I’ve been a customer for 7 years and I was only one day late, it was an oversight (not to mention I noticed they started to change the due dates on the account)…”  Of course now Obama introduced legislation that forbids these kinds of practices, which the banks are fighting fiercely.

I’m convinced debt is the new slavery.  But, I was a willing participant.  I got caught up in the culture of the new millennium :  ENTITLEMENT.

Remember all those shows at the beginning of 2000?  “Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?” “Joe Millionaire”, “The Survivor”, “The Apprentice”?  Then all those money gurus like Richard Kiyosaki of “Rich Dad, Poor Dad”, Donald Trumps “Think Big and Kick Ass” and Suze Orman who, bless her, was trying to beat some sense into us.

Then the new age metaphysicians and the cult of “The Secret”:  think, desire, believe and manifest what you want.  Hey, I was definitely mesmerized by all of it.  I was going to a spiritual counselor who told me to watch that DVD for 40 days!

But, I bought into it…literally, bought it all.  Thinking that I could keep up, catch up, that my next gig was just around the corner,  if I could just stay focused, keep working, it would all work out…but it hasn’t.  And my Polly Anna optimism is eroding with it.  Maybe it’s called growing up.  That I need to measure my wealth in different ways and  not define myself or measure my worth by what I have.  Consumerism was literally consuming me.  This past year and a half I’ve been plagued with insomnia, dizzy spells and now these panic attacks when I approach a bridge.  I have developed this terrible phobia of bridges and actually had to call my brother to help talk me over one when I was driving.  Now, I just avoid them.  I know this is just a manifestation of the stress and the fear I have around my finances:  feeling out of control not feeling supported.

But, I hope reaching out like this helps in some way.  Maybe feeling that I’m not alone, that perhaps there is a network of people who can relate, advise or enlighten me.  Maybe just the act of speaking the truth, that I don’t have to be perfect and that I’m still valuable as a person and that I have something of value to offer while I am on the planet.  I do have to admit, the man that I have in my life has been such a blessing to me.  I’ve confided in him about my financial situation because I felt it was important for him to know exactly what my situation was, even showing him my bank statements and debts.  That was very hard and I was afraid that he wouldn’t want to be with me because of my debt and my feelings of disappointment in myself.

Then he just looks at me and tells me that that doesn’t define who I am.  Then he tells me that he loves me and that he knows who I really am: that I am a caring, good person with integrity, that I am talented, smart and beautiful and that he believes that I have what it takes to handle any situation.  And it makes me feel so comforted.  I tell ya, ya can’t buy that.

Thanks for letting me share, Katy. J

Karole

By Carla

It’s been six months now since Heather,  Katy and I started telling the world every last little detail (sort of) about our financial “realities” and how the recession was impacting our day to day lives and we figured it was the perfect time for a little makeover. After all, what girl doesn’t like to switch things up from time to time? Plus, we have seen more than 37,000 hits and we wanted to freshen this up for you. So, goodbye dancing green girl with your floppy midsection and hello to a fresh and (hopefully) easier to navigate website. And check out those super hot mamas on top. Huge thanks to Mei Chi for her amazing work on our new look and to my husband (who will not want to be thanked, but will be nonetheless) for his crazy computer skills. 

Be sure to make a note of our new website address, too. We are now Recessionmamas.com.

We thank you for reading and following us along our different journeys and we invite you to come back over and over again!

by Heather

If I had to be a female superhero for one day who would I pick?

I can tell you right off the bat that it wouldn’t be Wonder Woman. Sure she looks super cool deflecting bullets with her gold cuffs, lassoing creeps and  kicking bad guy booty while wearing a strapless body suit and boots. But her outfit is too revealing and the most likely to have a wardrobe malfunction. She must have some serious glue holding up that top and a killer bikini wax. And please… who can change clothes just by spinning around in circles?

Photo may be subject to copyright

At least Supergirl wears sleeves and a skirt. That’s doable. Sort of. I imagine it gets a little chilly flying around the city in that get up… not to mention the challenge of not looking windblown.

Image courtesy of Toon Zone

Then there’s Xena: Warrior Princess. This goddess wears leather, carries a sword, rides atop a beautiful horse and goes Medieval on unsavory types. She need only magic and muscle to topple the evil doers. Also, I’m pretty sure she can crack coconuts and skulls with those thighs.

Photo from fanpop.com

I love these super ladies. But their outfits and supernatural skills are completely unattainable. So I must choose another type of super hero. That would have to be women who manage to balance work, school, family, relationships… whatever consumes their lives.

I’m no superhero mamas and papas. I don’t always manage the kids, their school, husband, college, the house, the renovation, the rental property with style and grace. In fact, most of the time I look like a dog chasing its tail. Round and round and round I go. I’m extremely sleep deprived and often over caffeinated.

No fooling. I’ve got a lot on my plate AND I’ve probably bitten off more than I can chew. So something’s gotta go!

Obviously the kids and husband will stay put. Besides I love them more than anything in the world including chocolate. We can’t sell our additional properties, so I will continue to juggle them. And I just started another degree so I plan to stay the course.

That leaves book club, exercise, grooming routine, mom’s night out, eight hours of sleep and TV.

Reading feeds the brain and exercise keeps my brittle bones from turning to dust… so they stay. I’ll continue to slap on a little ”war paint” and brush my hair. I’ll have  girl’s night out during school breaks. Sleep is necessary, eight hours is a luxuary. So I guess that leaves TV.

I have pretty much ditched it. I’m so far behind on my shows that I may never catch up. But I haven’t really missed it. In fact, I’ve discovered how much time I used to waste on watching “crap.”

Sure I’m going to keep tuning into my “favorites” like Mad Men and Dexter. (recorded and watched later) Don Draper is too yummy to give up!

Mad Men AMC

But no more  live TV, new programs and getting involved in mindless reality shows (sorry Housewives of New York).

Starting a new degree, writing a blog, managing three homes and a family is hard work. But I feel fortunate and blessed to be so busy.  It’s forced me to give up foolish junk, get organized and manage my time better.

I’m not a superhero…. not even close. I’ll leave that to the professionals. Besides I don’t think my pony tail and yoga pants would make a very sexy superchic outfit. All I can do is try my best with the time I’m given.

However, I have to admit it would be nice to have a few “superpowers.”

“Wonder Twin Powers activate…. in the shape of dinner and paid bills!”

“Wonder Twin Powers activate.. in the form of happy-to-take-a-bath-and-go-to-bed children.”

Sigh…. Maybe in another life and comic book.

(check out the Wonder Twins cartoon below)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdZ4JgGm2p4

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdZ4JgGm2p4]

-H

–by Carla Marion

The dark clouds over Dallas/Fort Worth didn’t seem so threatening on Tuesday for those of us who heard that wonderfully reassuring voice on the radio again. Sure, it was a different frequency, but the voice hadn’t changed a bit. Here, meteorologist Brad Barton fills us in on what’s been going on…and shares the exciting news:

Carla,
 
Here’s an update on what’s happened in the two months since I was dismissed from CBS.  It’s been an exciting time.   
 
First, Brenda and I are grateful for every act and expression of kindness from the management and staff at KRLD, many others of all stripes and our Bethel Methodist Church family in Southlake and throughout Texas.  The comments and best-wishes are again, just heartwarming. Carla, Don, Ed Spencer, Jason Sickles and Steve Blow of the Dallas Morning News, you have helped us more than I can ever express.  And I must thank God for his faithful and providential care. 
Case in point:  Although our prized Blue Bird Wanderlodge had been on the market for over a year, we really needed to sell it after I was laid off.  Just one month later, on Labor Day, a couple in California who thought the coach was already sold, found it again, called us, agreed on a price and wired the money within 24 hours.   
 
As for employment, I have begun a new business known as WeatherTrust to deliver syndicated weather forecasts and other content to various clients. 
 
My websites are coming on line now, including http://www.brads-weather.com, bradsweather.com, weatheroncall.com and others.  The main point of my website is to alert you by phone of severe weather in your area, then give you a link to click to hear live streaming storm coverage as I’ve done on the radio.  Soon, your  internet-capable phone will be your emergency weather link wherever you are- in your car, at your kids’ soccer game or in your closet when the power goes out at the height of the storm.     

I’ve also had a couple meetings with corporations both in and out of media to discuss some very interesting ideas.   
 
But the crowning jewel of the past two months has been a plan quietly formulated by Tyler Cox to bring me on board as the new Chief Meteorologist of WBAP.  Since 1922, WBAP has been a perennial leader in all of its chosen formats.  And beyond the richness of its past, the WBAP of today still has principled leadership that appreciates talent and loves broadcasting, not just the profits that come from broadcasting. Just to be a part of one of the eight most powerful, influential and honored radio stations in America is a privilege few people will ever know.  To be entrusted with weather coverage where the legendary Harold Taft once held court, is an honor and solemn responsibility that I take very seriously.  I am humbled and extremely grateful.  And I already feel at home.  Since the deal was kept secret for some time, it was a surprise to most people at WBAP, and a shock to Hal Jay, whose look was just priceless.    

The next time the skies turn dark, just remember, I’m right here in Weather Center 820.  The weather leader in North Texas radio is WBAP.

Brad, this makes me just want to stand up and cheer!

On a personal note, I am filled with joy that you have a new radio home …and what an amazing home it is. (I am beyond thrilled to be a back-up, fill-in anchor at WBAP.)

What a small and crazy world.

–by Carla

Some pretty strong storms blew through the Dallas/Fort Worth area a few hours ago, and it was so reassuring to hear a trusted voice back on the air, telling us where the storms were headed and what we should expect. Meteorologist Brad Barton, who had been on the air in Dallas for more than 30 years but was shockingly laid off two months ago from another news/talk station, made his return to the DFW airwaves today on WBAP News/Talk 820AM.

Having worked with Brad for more than a decade, I can tell you that he is once again where he belongs: behind a microphone, and in front of a weather radar. And the people of North Texas once again have a place to  turn when the skies darken.

We’ll be hearing from Brad, in his own words, very soon…so stay tuned!

A BIG “Congrats!” to Brad and Brenda and to WBAP for this wonderful news.

By Katy

Six months ago, this week, Heather, Carla and I launched this site.  We had no idea what it would become.  We just wanted a place where we could talk about our experiences in this unusual economy.  We each had very different economic realities, as I am sure our readers do also.  In fact, I think each of us draw in the kinds of readers who are most like us…and sometimes, we also get readers who can’t understand what we’re going through and let us know it!  Money is a hard subject to talk about.  It’s also a hard subject to write about.  Money is so personal.  It’s definitely been hard for us, and we’re the Recession Mamas!  I’ve gotten criticized for how much I’m planning to spend on my wedding, and I haven’t even spent the money.  I was just writing about what various locations might cost us.  But that’s why it’s important to keep sharing each other’s stories.

I actually embrace the criticisms.  I address them, of course, in future posts.  But I love hearing the good and the bad.  This is what this site is for!  We should help each other through a period of time in our lives and in our country’s history that most of us have never lived through before.  We don’t always have to write about our money issues.  I think it makes for a better site if we actually don’t.  I think we are just here to document what this strange, new economic world is like…for us and for our guest writers.

I love when readers write to me and tell me how much they relate to what we’re writing about.  I love when I hear that someone has even used a tip or two from this site.  But what I love most is when someone says simply, thanks, for putting it out there!  We are going to try and keep putting it out there for all of you…and for ourselves.  Thank you so much for reading these last six months!  I hope you’ll continue to read and contribute.  Also stay tuned!  We’ll be rolling out a new look soon!!!