by Heather

I can go on and on about all of the things for which I am thankful. Life is certainly good. Sure life can be hectic and chaotic. But I really have no complaints.

The family and I, along with my mother, sister and brother-in-law will be eating Thanksgiving lunch at the club. (which means I don’t have to cook) Then we’ll head to the Dallas Cowboys game. This is something new and different. We’re all looking forward to it.

If you think about it long and hard, it really doesn’t matter where you spend Thanksgiving. It’s nice to spend it with family, but sometimes that’s not possible.

I’m reminded of the time during college when I stayed at school for Thanksgiving and celebrated with friends. We were all pretty broke, but we managed to throw together quite a spread. I had won some sort of contest at work and used the extra cash to buy a very small (tiny) ham.

I had never cooked a ham in my life, so I called my grandma to get her glazing recipe. I followed it to the letter and glazed the ham with pinapple and brown sugar. It was absolutely beautiful and smelled fantastic! I was so proud that I even took a picture of the darn thing. Then I placed it on the table and sliced it ceremoniously in front of everyone. But as soon as I started slicing it became clear that there was something strange about this ham.

I think the dialogue went something like this.

“What’s that?” someone said.

“What?” I said.

“Yeah. There’s something on it. It looks bizarre.”

A small layer of stiff film began to unravel from the ham and stick straight up in the air. The beautiful glaze was falling apart.

“What the hell did you do to it?”

“Oh crap! I think it’s wax paper or something.”

Why the ham was  wrapped in a thin, almost undetectable layer of paper was beyond me. I was devestated because I cooked a ham with paper on it. PAPER! It’s a miracle I didn’t burn the house down.

Thankfully, everyone was hungry enough to eat it. In fact, I think they got a good laugh out of it and came away with a mildly entertaining “Heather” story. It didn’t taste bad either.

So don’t worry this Thanksgiving if there are a few glitches and giddy-ups in your cooking steps. Nobody really comes to your house for the food. They gather at your table for the laughs and the memories. Relax and enjoy!

By Katy

Like this kitten, I hope to sleep through Thanksgiving.  The turkey will help.  The stuffing will help, and heaping mouthfuls of pie will help.  I also want to stay awake to say thank you.  Thank you for this year.  Thank you fans of Recession Mamas!  You’ve made our launch so successful.  Family and friends — thank you for sharing your stories and your comments.  We need to talk about money and finances more, or I think we will continue to repeat the same mistakes over and over and over.  Life is about learning new lessons, right?  I hope to not make the same mistakes.  I hope to live the best life I can possibly live…and then get some sleep.

By: Heather

We haven’t even dusted off our Christmas lights and wreaths and we’ve already received two party invitations, holiday catalogs and a gazillion donation requests from charity groups. I know they’ve got to get ready for the holidays, but if I get any more Christmas labels I’m going to scream.

 

Those address labels usually don’t make it onto letters at our house. (I have a stamp for that, or my address printed on the Christmas card envelope.)

Nope our labels usually end up on the walls, the refrigerator, shoes, furniture and toys. I’ve even pulled a few off the dogs’ backs and ears.

“Bella and Ally look pretty!” says a little one.
“I don’t think they’re amused,” I say.

My kids are attracted to the bright colors, glitter and cute artwork. They LOVE to “decorate” with them. But those stickers don’t always un-stick.
Besides the address labels… we’ve also received nickels, dimes, notepads, mini calendars and a cross necklace. We appreciate the gifts I suppose. I feel guilty about throwing any of it away, so I keep it and try to use it. I also try to send the charity group a little money. But it’s getting out of control.

Just a few of the requests

Now I must decide who gets a donation and who doesn’t. But it’s a hard choice to make. Do I give a little to everyone or a lot to just a few groups? And how do I know if everyone is legitimate? I don’t have time to research them.

This takes me back to the time I watched a “Feed the Children” infomercial and pledged $15 a month. I was 12 and didn’t have a steady income. When I didn’t fulfill my pledge they sent threatening letters and pictures of starving children. I cried and felt horrible. Finally an adult informed them I couldn’t pay up, so they should stop harassing a kid.

My point is… I have a hard time saying no. If you send me a picture of a child with a cleft palate or a note from a cancer survivor or stories about abused animals… I’m going to plop down in my office chair, pull out my check book and start writing.

I once bought, over the phone, wind chimes from a blind charity. They were made out of coconut shells and bamboo and were the ugliest thing I had ever seen. They sounded like two sticks whacking together. (Not very relaxing.) The charity called back another time and tried to sell me hand crafted yard art. I declined.

I do however find it easy to turn down phone solicitors because they’re annoying. When the Democrats call asking for a donation I tell them I’m a Republican and when the Republicans call I tell them I’m a Democrat. They quickly hang up.

So who will get the donations this year? I’m not sure. But I’ve got plenty from which to choose. I’m also certain the request will keep coming… as will those pesky little labels.

 

The charity letters are piling up!

 

 

By Katy

I am still away from home, and I am thinking about my relationships and how much money affects them.  It’s a sad, unromantic view of the people you love, but as harsh as it may be, it’s realistic.  As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, I had always believed my grandmother’s saying that “love doesn’t buy the bread.”  But I also started to believe that love can overcome a lot of issues.  Now, that I’m away from my family and fiance, I am thinking again in more black and white terms, and I sort of see red all over.

If a couple is getting married, should their finances be in a somewhat harmonious state?  Is it fair to one partner if the other partner has racked up a lifetime of debt and the other partner has virtually no debt?  Is it fair for one partner to continuously pay for the roof over both of their heads and never see the light at the end of the tunnel (when the mortgage is split 50/50 or even 60/40)?  Or what about a wedding that only one partner is saving up for?  These are all important questions to discuss before getting married, but the fear is what if these discussions never turn into reality?

–by Carla

Did you happen to catch the poll in Parade Magazine a few weeks ago that had to do with the recession? Most of it made pretty good sense, but a few things did stand out. It shocked me a bit to see that only 89% of those polled said they were proud to be Americans. 89% might sound like a high percentage for other things, like maybe the percentage of time you spend working versus goofing off  at work, but for something like American pride, I was shocked. Even with the economy in the state it’s in, you’d think more of us would be proud to live in this great country. I don’t get that 89% thing.

I did like what they found about quality time with others. The poll showed that because of the recession, lots of us are spending more time with one another. That really is the case for me. It’s a little different in my house since I’m husbandless 4 nights a week and my Mom is my husband on those nights, helping me get through dinner, bath time and bedtime with 1-year-old and 2-year-old boys. So yes, Mom and I have gotten quite close! We’ve always been close…in that Mom/Daughter way of being close where you may get on each other’s nerves from time to time and get a little frustrated with one another but you love each other at the end of the day and move on like nothing ever happened…but we are certainly closer now.

In the 11 months since my layoff, she has, among other things, taught me how to make homemade chicken soup. It’s a tad bit embarrassing to admit that at 29, ok 35, I had never so much as attempted to whip up a batch on my own. But I can do it now. And it’s actually tasty. She’s helped me get over my fear of raw poultry. Remember back in the early days of the “Reinvention of Carla” where I’d almost need a hazmat suit before I would so much as consider touching raw chicken?

It’s gotten easier. I don’t gag anymore. I just get in there and do what I need to do…slap it around a little…you know, show the chicken who’s boss. So yes, Mom and I have gotten closer and for that I cannot be more grateful.

The husband and I spend more time together now, too. In the past, we both worked these crazy opposing hours and never saw each other during the week and by the time the weekend rolled around, we would fill our time doing chores and catching our breath, but not really going out or having fun. We have gone on more dates since my layoff than at any other time in our marriage. Seriously.

Now that we’re coming up on Thanksgiving, (which next to Christmas is my 2nd favorite time of the year) I am so thankful for the way this has all worked out.

And for the record, the family has given me the green light to host and cook for Thanksgiving this year. And by “me” I really mean “me and the husband and anyone else who would like to help out otherwise we may be ordering a pizza that day“. WOO! I’m super excited and cannot wait!

by Heather

I’ve gotten this question a few times about myself or my husband and it  always shocks me. I know people are curious, but seriously do they have to ask? Is it really any of their business?

Here’s the answer in case you were curious. I personally don’t make any money. I make nadda, nothing, zilch, diddle squat. I have many job titles but they don’t come with a paycheck. ( Kid  chauffeur, mom, full time student, home renovator, rental property owner)

 Oh sure I work freelance in radio news, but I get paid the same hourly wage I made 10 years ago. It’s the same hourly wage  I pay my nanny. So, if you figure in the cost of the dozen cookies I usually take to work with me… I actually lose money. But I still do it because I enjoy it. I have sometimes referred to this as my “community service.” Does this lack of a paycheck make me a failure? No. But I feel guilty about not contributing financially sometimes.

My husband brings home the bacon. He works hard, really hard. And deserves every cent he makes. Most people would never dream of making the sacrifices he makes and working the hours he works. His salary rewards his success. But  I think he’s a success because he takes care of everyone in his family. He never complains. He always makes time for the kids and me. We’re grateful.

I think we’re all a little guilty of measuring success by the paycheck. But that’s just the wrong way to look at it. I think we should ask ourselves and others “How much of a difference do you make?” instead of “How much money do you make?”

Who cares how much money you make! You’ll never be truly happy until you learn how to help someone else and help make his or her life better.

 

 

By Katy

Snow flurries fell around me this morning, and I started thinking that the major winter holidays are coming soon. Christmas, Chanukkah, Thanksgiving, New Year…a beautiful time to spend with family and friends.  But it’s also the time of year where I tend to spend the most money.  Whether I’m entertaining or going to a friend’s house, I spend money.  I hate showing up to parties empty-handed.  It makes me feel guilty, for some reason, and if I’m working, I tend to make up for the years when I’m not.  I buy lavish gifts for my parents.  One year, I bought them a large flat screen plasma TV.  I usually give my brother cash because he’s the hardest person to shop for.

My closest friends in L.A. are really great at hosting dinners and making gifts.   Since I’m not so crafty, I end up buying them things I hope they like!  And oh this all reminds me…I need to buy a dining room table so I can host some dinner parties!  What pressure we put on ourselves during the holidays!  I never understood it as a kid.  Sure, I wanted the latest Barbie doll and games, but I also just had fun.  I didn’t worry about keeping up.  I didn’t feel guilty if all I gave my parents were a card and a hug.  Although Thanksgiving isn’t even here yet, do you feel the pressure already?

By Katy

I am sitting inside an airport right now, writing to you, dear readers.  I can’t tell you where I am, but I can tell you that it doesn’t have free wi-fi.  How is this possible?  I think that in this day and age, there should be free wi-fi everywhere.  I think I heard a rumor awhile back that Google wanted to do that someday.  I think that day should be today.  Flying has already become a major chore since September 11th.  Airlines have lost a lot of money, so instead of trying to lure customers back with incentives, they have passed along their costs to us.  Checking in bags costs money.  Airplane food, never very good, also costs money.  And wireless at this airport also costs money?  Come on!  I think the best way to re-gain customers is to make the flying experience as pleasant as possible, not as painful as possible.  Seats should be more comfortable.  Good food options should be available in the terminals and on board.  And getting online to do some work should be…free!